|
 |
Real
advice for kids with real problems, from a real clown.
Dear Mr. Smiley Happy Clown,

I am in the 3rd Grader, and I wish I had more friends. The popular kids
always tease me about wearing dark socks with my sneakers. And I always
get picked last for kickball (I have flat feet). What should I do?

Billy, Troy NY
Dear Billy,

First of all, you've gotta get the hell outta Troy, NY as fast as humanly
possible. But that's a subject for another day.

As far as the dark socks, I'd slam you too if I saw you walking around
like that. So get "Mommy Dearest" to buy you some white gym
socks ASAP. And if she doesn't, then call Social Services.

And always remember to to act and dress like the other kids. Being different
will get you nowhere in life. Look at me for example -- I was an art
major, and now I'm a friggin' clown!! Meanwhile, the star quarterback
-- who was a TOTAL bonehead -- is now a fund manager at Morgan Stanley.
Figure that out!

And finally, even though you stink at kickball, don't let those little
twerps push you around. Wearing dark socks is one thing, but God made
you the way you are - flat feet and all. So whenever anybody makes fun
of you, I say you should pop 'em one. Just like I do when somebody jokes
about my lazy eye. Ka-POW!!
Your friend,
Mr. Smiley Happy Clown
|
 |



Sure, the KidzKlub web site is fun, but it's
not NEARLY as fun as joining the Kidz Klub Klubhouse -- our exclusive
club for Kidz Klub Kids like you!

You get a whole lot of really COOL STUFF... and the best part is it's
absolutely FREE! (plus $49.95 shipping and handling. $59.95 in the United
Arab Emirates).

So what are you waiting for? Get Mom's checkbook out of the dresser, and
Join The Klub

This week in Fun & Games... Osama bin Laden
paper dolls! Cut him up and dress her... umm, HIM up! Osama
Paper Dolls

The Kringle Conspiracy: The Truth About Santa
Revealed!

This Kidz Klub Investigation Blows the lid off the Santa Clause myth!
What ELSE is Mom & Dad lying to you about!?
|
 |