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Home
:: Help Desk
Please
try our FAQ section before bothering one of our customer service representatives.
We discourage calls unless, of course, you actually enjoy being on
hold for 2 hours while listening to Handel's Water Music 75 times only to
be verbally abused by our rude, uncaring phone personnel who could care
less about your silly questions.
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Got a question? Ask
Miss Barbara!
Have a question that's not addressed
in our extensive FAQ section? Just E-mail our belligerent
phone room supervisor. She puts the "cuss" in customer
support! Ask
Miss Barbara
Computer problems? Ask our PC
Help Desk!
In an effort to improve service
and reliability, we've consolidated our entire computer and
networking support into one, easy to use resource. Click here
for our new PC Help Desk. Get
PC Help
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The same silly questions
people won't stop asking us.
Who is Andyco?
We're a really big, important company with a web site, and we care about
YOU more than many other companies probably do!
What does Andyco do?
We do many things that make life worth living. Like our motto says, "We're
everything to everybody".
Why haven't I heard of you before?
That's quite possible, considering the fact that 38% of the adult population
can't name the Vice-president of the US, and 67% think that New York City
is the capital of New York State. Don't feel too bad -- there are plenty
of ignorant people such as yourself!
Who can I contact for more information?
If you have several hours to waste holding a phone to your ear, please
call our customer service line. Otherwise you can E-mail questions and
inquiries to our very own, very belligerent Miss
Barbara.
Should I invest my entire life-savings in Andyco
stock?
Absolutely. Though the stock's past performance has been volatile at best,
we're bullish on the future earnings potential. We recommend borrowing
against the equity of your home to free up capital, or dip into your children's
college fund. Hey, that's what community college is for! Though there's
a strong chance you could wind up penniless and destitute, the potential
benefit well outweighs the risk. For further misinformation, refer to
our Investor
Page .
What is the half-life of Rubidium-87?
47 billion years -- that's longer than the average wait on our customer
service line!
Please help! I can never seem to get through
on your customer service line. What can I do?
There are many things you can do. While on hold you could balance your
checkbook, for example. If you're a woman, perhaps you could put a fresh
coat of polish on those chipped, unsightly nails. How about cracking open
that best-seller you've been wanting to get to but never have the time.
Now you do!
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FunPhone
Room Facts
Why do you play 'Handel's Water Music' over and over while I'm on hold?
Your customer
service rep was the WORST!! My 6-year old son drew this picture of what
she might look like. Is it close?
Your customer service representative
was cruel and uncaring. Are they really that mean, or are they trained to
act in this manner?
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