Andyco.com : : We're Everything to Everybody™

Intro

Site Map

Boardroom Bunch

About This Site

New This Week!

Weekly Memo
Read our CEO's weekly memo, which in truth comes out about once every leap year.

Weekly Comics
Don't miss an installment of "Boardroom Bunch" -- or it's coming out of your next paycheck!

Welcome To Andyco

Don't quite know where to begin? Take our tour, or visit the welcome page.

Information Center

Ask Miss Barbara Still on hold? Email Miss Barbara. She puts the "cuss" in customer support!

About This Site

Andyco v3.0 We listened to what YOU wanted, then did what WE wanted! Read about Andyco's new look.

Optimized for wireless The future is just around the corner! View our new home page, optimized for your wireless handheld! Wireless page »

Site Requirements
Andyco is best enjoyed if

1)	You have IE5 or better
2)	Flash 5 plug-in
3)	You have nothing better to do.
4)	You're drunk, stupid, and/or disoriented.

Andyco.com wins the coveted Beasley Award! Read More!

Andyco News

Last Updated: March 18, 1974

Andyco Weathers Challenging Fiscal Year While investors lose life savings, Andyco's wealthy CEO reminds us that fussing doesn't make things better.

Lowcost Space Exploration Built off the frame of a 1977 Ford Mustang II, this sporty new satellite is no lemon.

Caribou In The Classroom Oil subsidiary ACOIL gives Alaskan wildlife "a hand up, not a handout" with innovative new program.

Andyco 3rd Annual Family Fun Day This year's company picnic is much more than just another chance to see the PR Director get drunk on cheap box wine.

Andyco Foundation Fights PowerPoint Addiction From PowerHouse to the National Wacky Pack Museum - The Andyco Foundation makes a difference - then quickly sends out a press release.

Andyco Management Team In Place They're too important to know you. Now get to know them!

A Word From Our Sponsors...

Almost Fresh Food Market If it's low prices you want, then it has to be Almost Fresh!

Dave's Hi-Tech Septic Service A straight flush beats a full house!! Ask about our special "War-on-Terrorism" pricing!

Virtual Dinner Theatre Dinner Dinner Theatre on your PC. It's so classy, we spell theater with an "re" instead of an "er"!

iBAIL If you've got a computer, then "you've got bail"... iBail, that is.

BananaShoes America's favorite banana-based footware products, now online!

Andyco Merchandise

You'll look good, and feel great, knowing a portion of all proceeds go to executive bonuses and stock buyback programs

Your purchase makes a difference!
Here's how:

• One item buys an Andyco executive one extra martini after a round of golf.

• Twenty items buys 1 round of golf.

• 500 hundred items buys a golf weekend in Vegas with front row Cirque du Soleil tickets and a hooker.
Start Shopping Now!

Special Features

Andyco Kid's Klub Tell Mom & Dad to scram! It's the web site just for KIDS!

Take A Tour New to Andyco? Take a tour of our company facilities.

WACO: Web Radio Hear your polka and Hawaiian music favorites while you surf Andyco!

AndyMart The low prices you'd expect - the low quality you'd expect, too!

Coming Soon!

ACOIL Energy We're the Emissions Leader.™ Nothing gets between us and your energy needs! Coming soon!

ACTV Cable Network Keep your eyes open and we do the rest. It's TV that won't fill you up! Coming soon!